The Desire Concept

Short Definition

A Desire is something essential that we sincerely hope to obtain. It motivates us to voluntarily sacrifice less important things for something much better and more sustainable.


Hope – Noun

  • Trust, reliance, or a feeling of trust
  • A desire that is accompanied by the expectation of fulfillment (this is not just a pipe dream or a wish)
  • a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen
  • grounds for believing that something good may happen

Need – Noun

  • A thing that is wanted or required
  • The state of requiring help, supply, relief
  • Lacking basic necessities such as food
  • A lack of something requisite, desirable, or useful
  • Circumstances in which something is necessary, or that require some course of action; necessity

Goal – Noun

  • The object of a person’s ambition or effort
  • an aim or desired result
  • The destination of a journey
  • A point marking the end of a race.
  • The mark set as limit to a race

Destination – Noun

  • A place to which one is journeying
  • The place to which someone or something is going or being sent
  • A purpose for which something is destined
  • An act of appointing or setting aside for a purpose – predetermining

Purpose – Noun

  • The reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists
  • A person’s sense of resolve or determination
  • A particular requirement or consideration, typically one that is restricted in scope or extent


Northwest (NW) Desire

Northwest Desires require us to sacrifice more than we are able. They ask too much of us. To engage in the long-term obtainment process would make us miserable because we don’t actually value it that much. We don’t actually need that much to be satisfied. And we don’t want to give up other valuable Desires for this one. We think we should be able to have the privileges it offers without having to pay such a price. Desires that are truly NW to us are actually that valuable to someone else, regardless of how much we value them. This means that each Desire is a person or thing that has its own Desire. It needs someone to engage in a sacrifice process to meet its needs. This is true because it can’t retain its value unless these needs are met.

Example: If I wanted to buy a huge luxurious home, there would be a huge luxurious price tag on it. This would not only include the mortgage payments, but also the maintenance. I would either have to pay for others to help maintain it (both labor and parts) or I would have to sacrifice much of my time to care for it myself. If I was somehow able to buy it without having a job that paid me enough to make the mortgage payments, I would go into a large amount of debt. If I chose not to pay others to help and also did not do the work myself, the house would fall into disrepair. While it would have the potential to regain its original value given the work someone would have to put into it, its current-condition value would decrease. If I didn’t really need that huge and luxurious a home in the first place, we would regard this Desire as Northwest.

Northeast (NE) Desires

We know that some Desires can be temptations. These are Desires that once obtained leave us unfulfilled and wanting more. In the long game, we end up with addictions and bad habits, which force us to sacrifice what is most important to us. These Desires make empty promises. In the beginning, they appear to be something that satisfies us but as we come to understand their value over time, we find out they are not what we thought they were.

Example: I go to a furniture store that has extremely low-priced furniture that cost much more in most other stores. Because the price is so low, I am excited to get it. It requires less sacrifice from me, but I believe I’m getting the same value I would get in the other more expensive stores. Let’s say I buy a sofa and have it delivered to my home. It looks fantastic in my living room and I think that I got a great deal! However, over the next few months, the material frays, the cushions sink, and the framework (which was made of particle board) splits causing the legs to break off. After a year, the sofa looks awful and is extremely uncomfortable to sit on. All attempts to repair it fail.

In conclusion, I projected value upon this sofa. I thought it was of greater value than it really was. In the end, I had to purchase new wood to support the frame and new material for the cushions, which probably cost me more than it would have to purchase the higher-priced sofa at a different furniture store.


We can visualize the concept of Desire in a diagram. Our Present Location is at Point A and our Desire is at Point B. Since we want to journey to Point B, we sacrifice less important things that we have at Point A. The journey is work, effort, and sweat that includes consistent and progressive sacrificing of less essential things for things that are more valuable to us.

The Direction of our Desires

Our Desires can go in two opposing directions. Most of us have worried that having a Desire is selfish. Selfish Desires are me-first Desires. We want to obtain our needs at the expense of others obtaining there’s. We’re not thinking of their needs. We’re only thinking of our own.

But selfless Desires are also problematic. Throughout history, people have deviated into Ascetic Desire. These people sacrifice too much for the wrong reasons. They are not trying to help others by sacrificing. They are just sacrificing believing that the more they do, the better person they are. If we don’t have a good reason for our sacrifice, then we most likely have Ascetic Desires.

We want to use our strengths, talents, skills, and privileges to help others resolve their Conflicts and obtain their Desires. And we hope that others will use their strengths, talents, skills, and privileges to help us resolve our Conflicts and obtain our Desires. If we can’t move forward in our DOP, we focus on identifying how best to help others. Paradoxically this increases our rate of progression.

Analogy: The Centripetal force pulls a spinning object towards the center of gravity, which makes the object spin faster, smoother, and continuously. The Centrifugal force pulls it away from the center of gravity, which makes the object wobble, slow down, and eventually fall over.

Centripetal Desires are when our Desires include the happiness of others as well as our own. We hope that when we obtain this Desire, we will be able to serve others better. When we use the talents we have developed or privileges we have obtained to help others within our circle of influence, we experience joy which keeps our momentum going.

Centrifugal Desires are based in Pride and Envy. We want to obtain something before someone else. We are competing for it. We want to achieve it in order to appear better than others. We imagine that if they get it before we do, we are less valuable. When we use our talents and privileges to compete against others for Resources, we experience Pride and Envy, which slows our spin, makes it wobble, and eventually topple over.

Destiny vs. Change Desires

Our Desires may take on the form of Destiny. This is the case because we have previously made certain commitments and are enjoying the privileges even before we fulfill those commitments. Privileges may come in the form of physical or spiritual blessings or talents. Because we have these resources, we sense an obligation. We have an Inherent Desire to do something with them to help others resolve their Conflicts and obtain their Desires.

It is also true that we may have an Inherent Desire that calls to us and asks us to sacrifice more for it. Something inside of us reminds us of the commitment we have made and it’s manifesting in the form of a Desire. Thus we may desire to sacrifice other relationships or things even though the reason may not yet be apparent.

These Destiny Desires can sometimes feel like Northwest Desires because we have been given at least a portion of our “mansions above” before we’ve fully developed the skills to take care of the entire estate. Thus the portion-sized allotment. We wouldn’t be balanced if we were given everything right now. Those who have sincere hearts sense when the balance begins to move to the NW and will engage in a growth process to learn higher level sacrifice skills in order to balance it out. We are not happy when we are not running as fast as we have strength.

Change Desires are new Desires. We haven’t been given the privileges yet. There has been no past commitment. But because of our experiences, relationships, and associations, we have come to a crossroads and desire to reach for something more than we have in the past.

Desires Already Obtained

In the past, we have obtained Desires. Always keep these in mind as you identify your Present Desires.